"Your body is the first thing any child of man ever wanted. Therefore dispose yourself to be loved, to be wanted, to be available. Be there for them with a vengeance. Be a gracious, bending woman. Incline your ear, your heart, your hands to them.... To be a Mother is to be the sacrament - the effective symbol - of place. Mothers do not make homes, they are our home." from Bed and Board, Robert Farrar Capon

Friday, November 1, 2013

More on Deadness

Speaking of being killed all the day long (at least Emily was), there's nothing that will do it like training older children.  That's my take on it this morning anyway. 


"Yea, for thy sake are we killed all the day long; we are counted as sheep for the slaughter," 

Psalm 44:22


True, training younger children can do it too, but it shifts into high gear around the teenage years it seems. And if you've got both? Little kids and big kids?? Forget it. Dead. 

Dead that is, if you are counting yourself as that sheep for the slaughter today, picking up the cross lying there, the one of loving your kids, bearing with and battling their attitudes, their arguing, laziness, ignorance, pushiness, sensitivity, ungratefulness, etc., all while nimbly avoiding the wooden stool your toddler is constantly moving around your feet, for one more day.

I mean think about this. You could just walk away. You could just say, you know what? forget it! I'm done telling you this for the two hundredth time. I'm done putting up with you, dealing with you, trying to do my job and drown your old Adam and being pulled down under by the neck with you, every single day. Done. Why should I suffer you anymore???

(That's why the children of this world are now saying "Done" before they even start.  They're not going to suffer for a child's sake. Nope. They ain't gonna be nobody's fool. Nobody's. They are their own. Their will be done. They have their reward.  Besides, who in their right unbaptized mind would sign up to be "killed all the day long?"  With Christ nowhere in the picture, I certainly wouldn't. But for His sake I am now a fool.)

Yes, as Christians, we have another story. We are not our own. We have been bought with a price. 

For Christ's sake, and by the grace of God, we will suffer the ones God gives us. Year, after month, after day.


So as to that young adult you're bringing up. Look at all the shortcomings, failings, and downright disobedience of that child, and take a step back, calm your soul, breathe, ask God to help you to be tenderhearted and forgiving to him or her, and confess your impatience, receive forgiveness one more time, remembering how Christ unceasingly loves and suffers with you, and then get back to work.  Some of the hardest work there is in this life.

When your teenager walks in the room calmly (*cough*) show him or her the toothpaste spot that's been sitting on the bathroom floor for a week, and instruct them once more to clean. it. up.  
And that goes for a lot of things.

Yes self. I'm talking to you. 
Let the slaughter begin. 

God's peace, fellow sheep. 


  1. Thank you Leah. I'll be talking to you more as my children grow.

    It is so true we live in a completely opposite story to the world, and we are raising our children in HIS story.

    Psalm 127:4
    As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth.
    5: Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.

  2. Thank you Leah! I am so glad not to be ruled by my "feelings"! Here's to clinging to God's promises (for us and our children) - and Him fulfilling them and preserving is seed!

  3. I'm so eternally gratefully that the Lord has and is gracious and merciful to me (his "teenage" child), a poor sinful being. By God's grace, this is what I can pass on to my girls.

  4. So true Leah. I think one thing that makes it so challenging, is that we get glimpses of them growing up somewhat, and start expecting mature behavior, then are surprised that they are still so childish also. That's what happens to me anyway. Expectations. But then we get reminded that we are called to be long suffering-- with our own children!! And yes, like you said: tenderhearted and forgiving.

  5. Oh my, yes and yes.
    Sharing this one.

  6. Jane - Ha! At least you've got a few more years here to see how my kids turn out before you have to decide if I'm the one you're going to want to be talking too. Hehe! :P

    Jenny - God's promises are definitely the only thing we can cling to in every area of life.

    Kaylee - God's grace, God's grace, yes, just keep saying it. :)

    Cathy - So true (and you're way ahead of me... and above me... on all this stuff. ;). Sometimes I have to remember that my Rose is only fourteen, and then I remember how "mature" I was at fourteen *cough*, and then suddenly Rose looks like she's doing pretty darn well for her age! :D

    Emily - And yes. ;)

  7. This is encouraging for me. I often feel I don't do enough when it comes to "training up" my teen. I do just about all I can to avoid conflict, you see. And Lord knows there is conflict when it comes to raising teens. Thank you for the perspective.