The great truth is that we exist for our functions, not our functions for us. God has given me a purpose and a destiny. He’s placed me in a situation. I was not put here to "get myself happy", but to serve in my role – my God given role. It’s somebody else’s job to look after me. The vocations of mother, wife, and daughter take up all of my time. God has provided a husband for me, part of whose vocation it is to care for me. I am here to fulfill the role of mother.
I notice that "contentment" is one of the labels. That is an area I struggle with CONSTANTLY. I am so good about whining, "What about ME?" SO I ask a question of all readers and posters. Where is that line drawn between taking care of myself so that I can better care for my children, and being much too selfish? When does the traveling down the road to ungodliness begin?
ReplyDeleteJenny, I think that line is a tough one for any of us to navigate on any given day. And being surrounded by a culture that is obsessed with "Me" and my right not to be impinged upon, where everything is reduced to a lifestyle choice thereby making anything that demands more sacrifice than I feel I should have to give right now just,as one woman put it, self-imposed martyrdom, certainly doesn't help!
DeleteWe all have our "I need a break!" moments, days, months, years!, but I believe God does grant us those Sabbaths and little times of refreshing here and there in the midst of it all for our own good, and we should not feel guilty about taking them. I mean if even God rested the seventh day, what does that say about us? :) I think that because mothers don't have a set work schedule, no five o'clock whistle, we can get to where we just can't stop and we feel guilty if we ever do. I mean there's always one more load of laundry right? But at one point I just have to be done for the day. Sometimes I have to just set myself goals and give myself a little reading time or some other little personal reward now and then when I get a certain quota of work done for the afternoon.
I also take the time to brush my hair and put on a little makeup each morning because I really think it makes me feel better about myself for the day, and I like to look nice for my husband, and I hate the haggard housewife mindset I can fall into when I just "let myself go." I know everyone has different ideas on that too. That's between each woman and God and her husband.
But hey, here I am sitting at the computer typing up a storm right before the dinner storm but it's a peaceful moment - the kids are outside in the sunshine and the kitchen door is opened next to me letting a pleasant breeze in, and so I say, see? God gave me a little me time and I wasn't even striving for it. It just seemed to work out that no one has screamed Mom! for the past half hour and I got a tiny sabbath. So there. off to get the food out to the grill. Hope that helps. A little?
Thank you, Leah, it does help. I especially like your thought of, "That's between each woman and God and her husband." Really that's what it comes down to. Am I serving God? Am I serving my husband and my family? Yes. I can trust in God to meet MY needs. He does that every Sunday morning. He does that through my husband when he puts the boys to bed, folds the load of wash, unloads the dishwasher, prays with me.
DeleteCommon sense and the grace of God tells me where that "line" is. Thank you for your help.
Mary, thank you for posting this. A mother's attitude can be resentment that there is another diaper to change, or humility and gratitude for the privilege. God has given us these little people to care for, who cry, and are hungry, have diapers, need to be comforted and kept warm and safe. As we lay down our life, to care for them, we ourselves are delivered from the slavery of thinking about ourselves--what we didn't get, what someone did to us, or didn't do for us, what my neighbor has that I don't, how will the rest of my life work out...etc. But thanks be to God, He has given us the perfect way to be delivered from endlessly and hopelessly being curved in on ourselves.
ReplyDeleteAdmittedly, I'm a little late to the party here, but this conversation is excellent! Mary, I love your original post - focusing on my God-given vocation as wife and mother helps me to be content. I love how you put it: "Through my hands flow God’s gifts to my children." Amen! - Jenny and Leah, I struggle with that line too, particularly knowing if it's ok to put by feet up for twenty minutes during the day (ok, I only have one little babe so far), or when it's ok to be "done" for the evening. (I could put the rest of the dishes away, or I could listen to my husband who wants to snuggle up on the couch ;) - Cathy, your comment was the icing on the cake, especially that last sentence. Isn't God's design for families just awesome?! I keep thanking Him for His good and gracious gifts.
ReplyDelete-Kristin
Kristin, thank you for continuing the conversation. We're all late to the party anyway, so we'll just keep it going!
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